Archive for the ‘Sports’ category

Danica Patrick to Ditch Indy, Nascar and Race Go-Karts Instead

August 26th, 2011
Patrick Nascar

Patrick looks bitchy as ever.

In a shocking turn of events, IndyCar racing superstar Danica Patrick has shocked the beer-drinking and farming world by announcing her departure from IndyCar racing, and the decision to pass-up an opportunity to begin a full-time career with Nascar.

Instead, she’s trying her hand (or wheels) at Go-Kart racing.

When asked about her ridiculous decision, Patrick said, “You know, I’ll probably get judged negatively for leaving IndyCar racing. And I’ll probably get a lot of flak for passing up a huge opportunity in Nascar. But, hey, sometimes a girl has to do what a girl has to do. I just felt that racing Go-Karts would get me back to my roots. The speed of the tracks has gotten to me. I’ll be honest. And I just need to slow things down a bit. Besides, it’s much easier competition, and I get an odd satisfaction from flipping off teenagers in my rearview mirror. » Read more: Danica Patrick to Ditch Indy, Nascar and Race Go-Karts Instead

Cam Newton Wins Most Inaccurate Rookie Passer Award

August 26th, 2011

The award for the most Inaccurate Rookie Passer was awarded to Carolina Panthers’ rookie quarterback Cam Newton on Thursday night, following his amazing 6-for-19 performance in which he threw for a whopping 75 yards.

Despite the award generally being presented after the completion of the regular season, league officials called it early and decided that no other rookie passer would have a chance at catching up with Newton’s insanely untouchable inaccuracy.

While Newton’s beautiful 6-for-19 passing performance was award-worthy on it’s own, the rookie passer has managed to complete less than 50% of his passes through three preseason games, causing even the horrible free-throw shooting Shaquille O’Neal to tear up. » Read more: Cam Newton Wins Most Inaccurate Rookie Passer Award

Fail Clone Post Number 2 | Knee | Updated

November 23rd, 2010

I just had to post this on here,. ¬† This guys form is terrible and he shouldn’t have been in this sport in the first place. ¬†Please send the hate mail.

It seems that this is a popular injury and I don’t know why this makes me laugh, it just does. » Read more: Fail Clone Post Number 2 | Knee | Updated

ESPN's Steve Phillips Had Sex With Co-Worker, Brooke Hundley

October 26th, 2009

And it ain’t pretty, folks. No, there’s no sex tape-we hope. But for realzies, the ESPN reporter, Steve Phillips, cheated on his wife and had sex with this chick:


Not too shabby, right? Wrong. That’s an ideal picture of Brooke Hundley. Check out the pair posing for a picture:

hundley and phillips

If only we knew what they were up to back then. Those sick fucks.

Ah, but the story gets more interesting. Way more interesting. Marni Phillips, Steve’s wife, called the cops after Brooke Hundley showed up at her house. And to top it off, she had delivered a very revealing letter to Phillip’s wife

A lesson to the young and horny: Don’t sleep with retarded-looking co-workers. And don’t deal with crazies.

Donovan McNabb is Officially an Idiot

October 19th, 2009

dancing mcnabb

(He knows the Hawaiian dance, but not the NFL rules?)

Fans were harping on the beloved Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb last year for not knowing that NFL games went into “sudden death” and ended in ties, but now the “idiot” jaunts are proving to be correct.

Here he is defending his idiotic overtime (lack of) knowledge:


First the guy doesn’t even know that he’s no longer playing college football, but now he’s calling time-outs all Chris Webber-style when his team doesn’t have any.

With the ball on the Oakland Raiders 15-yard line with just 27 seconds remaining in the first half, the ingenious McNabb called a non-existent time-out. He was then penalized for doing so, bringing the ball back to the Raiders 20.

McNabb was on full tilt from that point on, as he got sacked on the next play by Oakland’s Richard Seymour, and Philly was forced to kick a field goal. The score was then 10-6 with Oakland leading, instead of a very possible 10-10 tie at the break.

The Raiders went on to win the game, hanging on for a pathetic 13-9 victory over the hapless McNabb and his Philadelphia Eagles.

Yout Gotta See it to Believe It: Football Player Hits Himself

October 13th, 2009

Seattle Seahawks’ fullback Owen Schmitt either made a complete ass of himself on Sunday, or he made himself officially become one of the biggest badasses the NFL has seen in some time.

I’m leaning toward the former.


Gus Frerotte, eat your heart out. What a jackass.