Archive for the ‘News’ category

Scarlett Johansson to Get Naked on Purpose This Time

March 2nd, 2012

You know you'll watch.

Remember when those sexy naked photos of Scarlett Johansson “leaked” from her own cell phone? They were intended for then-husband Ryan Reynolds, but somehow they got to, well, everybody.

It was hard to buy then, and it’s certainly hard to buy now. Especially since the sultry Johansson is once again putting her body on full display – this time on purpose – and this time in a movie.

That means everything moves. And all you sick Scarlett Johansson stalkers are going to get your wish. SJ’s chesticles hanging loose on the big screen.

Except you may refrain from full-on self-groping when you hear that it will all take place in an Alfred Hitchcock and the Making of Psycho movie. » Read more: Scarlett Johansson to Get Naked on Purpose This Time

X-Factor Judge Nicole Scherzinger is a Gigantic Douche

December 9th, 2011

Scherzinger blew it this time, America.

Before I address the title, I’ll give it to you straight – little, teeny, tiny, cutie singer Rachel Crow battled with Usher-wannabe Marcus Canty in last night’s X-Factor “results” show, and it was rough. In a good way, actually, as both singers performed extremely well in their “sing-off”.

However, anyone with a sane mind or any knowledge of musical talent had to admit that Canty was solid, but Crow was just damn amazing. The girl is 13 and she destroyed her song, while Canty continued to get by on his sometimes forced emotion and average vocals.

After Canty coach L.A. picked his boy and Simon Cowell picked his girl (Crow), it came down to Paula Abdul and the douche at hand, Nicole Scherzinger. Being of sound mind when it comes to music (and only music), Abdul made the terrific choice in picking Crow to stay and Canty to be the one to go home. Then the douche chimed in.

Nicole Scherzinger (think Pussycat Dolls, because that’s all you’ll know her from) had to ruin it all. She was a complete, utter mess, and she was the final deciding factor for last night’s show. This is a damn judge who is getting paid to be a damn judge. And she couldn’t make a decision. » Read more: X-Factor Judge Nicole Scherzinger is a Gigantic Douche

Lindsay Lohan Playboy Cover Is Out There (If You Dare)

December 8th, 2011
Lindsay Lohan News

Lohan is naked in a magazine somewhere. Yeesh.

So, in what doesn’t really qualify as news, but more just disturbing truth – the often arrested, coked out, and annoying Lindsay Lohan is back in the news. This time (at least for the moment), it’s not for some type of abuse, arrest, or horrible movie. No, this time it’s about her naked, freckled, anorexic body.

That’s right, the Lindsay Lohan Playboy Cover is out there. It’s alive and well. It’s real, and it’s happening. So, for those of you 14-year old (or47-year old) Lohan internet stalkers, today is a day for festive celebration.

For the rest of us, it’s a day where one of our worst fears has come to fruition.

If you’re a freak, here’s the cover heard round the world. Don’t worry, we’re not linking to any of Lohan’s pictures. And no, we’re not bothering to see if those have been uncovered, either. We just think it’s hilarious that Lohan’s name is hot. Or that there are actually people out there that think Lohan herself is hot. Or that the people at Playboy thought she was hot AND thought people who read/look at/buy Playboy think Lohan is hot.

I mean, we’ve from Marilyn Monroe to Carmen Electra to…this. God help us all.

Jersey Shore Season 5 | How Will They Top 4? (Here’s the Lastest Trailer)

December 7th, 2011

So this is it, this is the trailer. As you’re watching this, you have to ask yourself: “Why Am I Watching This”

Look At You. :) I can’t help it either.

The New Planet | The Frozen Planet Kepler-22b & Who’s On it?

December 6th, 2011
Kepler-22b The New Planet

Kepler-22b The New Planet

Yesterday NASA confirmed the discovery of the first planet outside of our solar system that has a “habitable zone”. Basically, they found another planet that human beings can live on.  Yes, that one that they’ve been telling us might be there, it’s real?  Maybe I’m a nerd, but my mind is blown at the possibilities.

Imagine another planet that actually has oil left, where we could drill and start shipping it back here?  One where there’s a fresh unpolluted atmosphere.  This planet now is there, so many many miles away from ours.  Maybe there’s people there?  Maybe there hostile?

Wouldn’t it be a super fantastic site to send off a bunch of stuff you hate into outer space?


So I figured it is such a great fantasy that I’d make a list of all of the people or things I’d like to send there today:

  • The concept of Global Warming – We’ll push that to Kepler-22B
  • Crest with Scope
  • Kim Kardashian
  • Dasani Water
  • Charlie Sheen
  • Baseball
  • Ashton Kutcher
  • Burnt Popcorn
  • Lindsay Lohan
  • Mexico
  • Piers Morgan
  • Non-Crispy Bacon
  • Kris Jenner
  • Guys With White Sunglasses
  • Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi
  • Middle back seat of small cars
  • Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino
  • Ritalin for Young Boys
  • Donald Trump
  • Raiders Fans
  • Brett Ratner
  • Speed Bumps
  • The guy who  writes 1000 Tiny Things I Hate


Bye Bye.  On 2nd thought, maybe I’d just go there and start my own world.  Probably not, what’s an intergalactic shuttle run these days?


Soulja Boy Buys Himself a F#cking Jet

July 29th, 2011
Soulja Boy Jet

Erbody be flying up in herr.

Famous rapper Soulja Boy turned 21 on Thursday, and while we’re nearly positive he was knee-deep in drugs, alcohol, and ass on his big day, he also was reportedly knee-deep in his own, personal, expensive-as-hell jet.

The kid turned 21, had a beer, and bought a f*cking jet worth $55 million dollars. Now that is a birthday present. To yourself.

Soulja Boy reportedly actually purchased the jet for $35 million, but tacked on another $20 million in upgrades to make the price a much cooler and hip $55 mil. » Read more: Soulja Boy Buys Himself a F#cking Jet

Smoking Crack, The New American Pass-Time?

July 29th, 2011

Somewhere in Milwaukee,WI

Most people spend time with their families over the holiday weekend, however Mike Lawery of Milwaukee, WI was willing to give us an interview of his weekend on this year’s visit to the hood.

We met Mike at an undisclosed house in downtown Brew City.  The 42 year-old man was having an Easter egg hunt of his own looking through the carpet of the crack-house for one last morsel.  He consented to grant us full interview rights for $5.

Interview with the crack-head:

Mike: “Ahhh man,. so what.  You wanna ask me?”

Smoking Crack, The New American Pass-Time?

LGO: “Not much, you’re a crack-head”

There it is, you’re reading an article about crack-heads now, look at yourself.  The truth is that it’s a real problem to find the good stuff.  Let’s stay up for 3 days straight, working on my car, pacing the living room, and saying “ssssh, quiet”  Great times, this writer just doesn’t see them.

Check out our other articles, comment and share!




Casey Anthony Acquitted, Vows to Steal Sports Memorabilia Back

July 5th, 2011
Anthony Not Guilty

Casey Anthony's stock is on the rise.

Casey Anthony was officially declared Not Guilty today, July 5th, 2011. Anthony, facing life in prison or the death penalty for the murder of her daughter, Caylee Anthony, received three Not Guilty verdicts for the worst charges, while receiving Guilty verdicts for three counts of false information (or lying to police).

Upon hearing the Not Guilty verdicts, Anthony broke into tears and was consoled by her defense team. After regaining her composure, Anthony approached the microphone and said, “That takes care of that. Now I’m going after my sports memorabilia that’s rightfully mine”. » Read more: Casey Anthony Acquitted, Vows to Steal Sports Memorabilia Back

Flooding Music | If it keeps on Raining!!

May 13th, 2011

When you’re viewing news of the floods, this is the track to listen to. There’s nothing funny about it, keep your heads up.

Bill O’Reilly, You Dick

October 14th, 2010

We don’t have anything in particular to say about this, but Bill O’Reilly made the news for all the wrong reasons, as he took a stab at Muslims on the set of The View, and it was apparently bad enough to have Whoopi Goldberg and Joy Behar leave the set.

You can check out the video below, but regardless of your opinion on the matter, we’re backing O’Reilly. We wouldn’t want to sit next to Joy Behar, either.

Listen to him. Because you’ll learn. This beautiful display of “extremism” brings us back. Like, way back. Okay, not that far back. But it brings this writer back to this: » Read more: Bill O’Reilly, You Dick