Archive for December, 2011

X-Factor Judge Nicole Scherzinger is a Gigantic Douche

December 9th, 2011
X-Factor

Scherzinger blew it this time, America.

Before I address the title, I’ll give it to you straight – little, teeny, tiny, cutie singer Rachel Crow battled with Usher-wannabe Marcus Canty in last night’s X-Factor “results” show, and it was rough. In a good way, actually, as both singers performed extremely well in their “sing-off”.

However, anyone with a sane mind or any knowledge of musical talent had to admit that Canty was solid, but Crow was just damn amazing. The girl is 13 and she destroyed her song, while Canty continued to get by on his sometimes forced emotion and average vocals.

After Canty coach L.A. picked his boy and Simon Cowell picked his girl (Crow), it came down to Paula Abdul and the douche at hand, Nicole Scherzinger. Being of sound mind when it comes to music (and only music), Abdul made the terrific choice in picking Crow to stay and Canty to be the one to go home. Then the douche chimed in.

Nicole Scherzinger (think Pussycat Dolls, because that’s all you’ll know her from) had to ruin it all. She was a complete, utter mess, and she was the final deciding factor for last night’s show. This is a damn judge who is getting paid to be a damn judge. And she couldn’t make a decision. » Read more: X-Factor Judge Nicole Scherzinger is a Gigantic Douche

Rod Blagojevich Sentenced to 14 Years in Prison For Bad Hair Piece

December 8th, 2011
Rod Blagojevich

At least his hair looks...good?

Rod Blagojevich, the former Illinois governor whose three-year fight against criminal charges became a topic for hot debate, was finally brought to justice Wednesday, when he was sentenced to 14 years in prison.

But, for what, really?

Despite his 18 “more serious” convictions, including a charge that he attempted to appoint someone to President Barack Obama’s Senate seat in exchange for monetary compensation, Ryan Staldin, CEO of MFMWHP (Men For Men With Hair Pieces), feels their is a deeper rooted issue here.

“Obviously he did some other shit, I’ll give the courts that. But this stuff is going way back, man. It’s been three years of our boy Roddy being mocked and ridiculed for some – what we believe to be – ridiculous fabrications, “Staldin said. ” But the big thing is that this honest, trustworthy guy was thrust into the national spotlight and drenched with the nation’s “hate baldy” saliva. Or whatever.” » Read more: Rod Blagojevich Sentenced to 14 Years in Prison For Bad Hair Piece

Lindsay Lohan Playboy Cover Is Out There (If You Dare)

December 8th, 2011
Lindsay Lohan News

Lohan is naked in a magazine somewhere. Yeesh.

So, in what doesn’t really qualify as news, but more just disturbing truth – the often arrested, coked out, and annoying Lindsay Lohan is back in the news. This time (at least for the moment), it’s not for some type of abuse, arrest, or horrible movie. No, this time it’s about her naked, freckled, anorexic body.

That’s right, the Lindsay Lohan Playboy Cover is out there. It’s alive and well. It’s real, and it’s happening. So, for those of you 14-year old (or47-year old) Lohan internet stalkers, today is a day for festive celebration.

For the rest of us, it’s a day where one of our worst fears has come to fruition.

If you’re a freak, here’s the cover heard round the world. Don’t worry, we’re not linking to any of Lohan’s pictures. And no, we’re not bothering to see if those have been uncovered, either. We just think it’s hilarious that Lohan’s name is hot. Or that there are actually people out there that think Lohan herself is hot. Or that the people at Playboy thought she was hot AND thought people who read/look at/buy Playboy think Lohan is hot.

I mean, we’ve from Marilyn Monroe to Carmen Electra to…this. God help us all.

Jersey Shore Season 5 | How Will They Top 4? (Here’s the Lastest Trailer)

December 7th, 2011

So this is it, this is the trailer. As you’re watching this, you have to ask yourself: “Why Am I Watching This”

Look At You. :) I can’t help it either.

The New Planet | The Frozen Planet Kepler-22b & Who’s On it?

December 6th, 2011
Kepler-22b The New Planet

Kepler-22b The New Planet

Yesterday NASA confirmed the discovery of the first planet outside of our solar system that has a “habitable zone”. Basically, they found another planet that human beings can live on.  Yes, that one that they’ve been telling us might be there, it’s real?  Maybe I’m a nerd, but my mind is blown at the possibilities.

Imagine another planet that actually has oil left, where we could drill and start shipping it back here?  One where there’s a fresh unpolluted atmosphere.  This planet now is there, so many many miles away from ours.  Maybe there’s people there?  Maybe there hostile?

Wouldn’t it be a super fantastic site to send off a bunch of stuff you hate into outer space?

 

So I figured it is such a great fantasy that I’d make a list of all of the people or things I’d like to send there today:

  • The concept of Global Warming – We’ll push that to Kepler-22B
  • Crest with Scope
  • Kim Kardashian
  • Dasani Water
  • Charlie Sheen
  • Baseball
  • Ashton Kutcher
  • Burnt Popcorn
  • Lindsay Lohan
  • Mexico
  • Piers Morgan
  • Non-Crispy Bacon
  • Kris Jenner
  • Guys With White Sunglasses
  • Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi
  • Middle back seat of small cars
  • Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino
  • Ritalin for Young Boys
  • Donald Trump
  • Raiders Fans
  • Brett Ratner
  • Speed Bumps
  • The guy who  writes 1000 Tiny Things I Hate

 

Bye Bye.  On 2nd thought, maybe I’d just go there and start my own world.  Probably not, what’s an intergalactic shuttle run these days?