The award for the most Inaccurate Rookie Passer was awarded to Carolina Panthers’ rookie quarterback Cam Newton on Thursday night, following his amazing 6-for-19 performance in which he threw for a whopping 75 yards.
Despite the award generally being presented after the completion of the regular season, league officials called it early and decided that no other rookie passer would have a chance at catching up with Newton’s insanely untouchable inaccuracy.
While Newton’s beautiful 6-for-19 passing performance was award-worthy on it’s own, the rookie passer has managed to complete less than 50% of his passes through three preseason games, causing even the horrible free-throw shooting Shaquille O’Neal to tear up.When asked how he was able to accomplish such a rare feat – winning the award before the season even actually started – Newton paused, and then said, “Hard work. It’s all about hard work. To be honest, I wasn’t even thinking about it. I wasn’t even thinking about anything. If I have to admit, there were times where I just stood there in the pocket, not thinking, eyes closed, just moving my arms. Sometimes I didn’t even know which hand the ball was in. I was that much at peace with it.”
Upon accepting his award, Newton vowed to chase the next best rookie quarterback award in line; Most Losses Award.
“You know, I’ve got the Inaccuracy award, and that’s great. But let’s face it, that was pretty easy. All I had to do was aim for hash-marks, guys’ feets, or throw it out of bounds. I’m pretty used to all of that. But losing, I’m not accustomed to it. But I’ll get there. If I work hard enough, and say my prayers, the losses will come.”