I want you to hold my sweaty, clammy hand.
Hey ladies, good to be speaking at you. Ha, oh geez, is it speaking at you or to you? Lord knows it’s not speaking with you. Not yet, anyways.
I’m sorry, I’m just a little flustered, trying to “sell myself” over the internet. I’m just a little shaken from my past experiences, as it hasn’t worked out quite as I’d hoped. You see, mail-ordered brides just don’t adhere to the rules, and then things can get a little ugly. But we can talk more about skeletons in the closet and my past relationship issues on our first date. Back at my house. In my basement.
But I’m getting off topic. You came here to learn more about me, right? Well, darnit, you shall!
I love Star Wars. And I know that gets the girls going (not), but I’m an honest man to the bone, and to the grave, even if that means I’m in prison for some things I did seven years ago. I also like playing video games, watching sports, staying indoors, flipping shades open and shut, petting cats, and whispering ever so softly into the wall when I hear me neighbors having sex.
I know I might be a bit over the top and too much for some ladies to handle, but I call it like I see it. And I live by the word of Yoda.
Go out with me, you will.
