Here at LGO, we like to take hypothetical looks into celebrities live’s, make accusations, assumptions, and generally make the average die-hard fan cry. Because it’s really, really fun to do.
If you aren’t caught up to date, here’s a quick recap on our last two “Gayness Rating” subjects:
Ryan Seacrest – It’s not even that he’s actually gay. It’s the stupid smile, the way he talks, his suits, his unimaginable and unexplainable fame and fortune, his haircut, his highlights, his laugh, his job, and quite possibly even the way he walks…but he just feels gay to us.
Jared Leto – Maybe it’s his lyrics, or the dark eyeshadow, or the bright eyeshadow, or the tight leather, or the tight non-leather, or the girl hair, or the bright pink or red girl hair. Perhaps it’s the rock star thing, or the movie star thing, or the weird gay lean/pose for pictures thing, or the finger-nail painting thing. I mean, I actually don’t think he has sex with men, but seriously aside from taking it in the butt or giving it, what does Jared Leto not do that makes him look gay The answer is nothing.
Drumroll….and here is the man, boy-child, teeny-bopper, punk/rich/lucky bastard kid/man of the hour….
He’s back by Usher, so we know he can’t possible actually be gay. And he’s like 16, so even if he does end up being gay, it’s probably way too early for even him to know for sure.
But there’s something about that retarded hair-cut, that wimpy voice, his over-exaggerated hitting-on older women, and his ridiculous presumptive confidence…that makes him undeniably gay.
It could be our natural jealousy over the fact that the kid has already made more money on one CD than we’ll make in our entire lives, but then again, he does fit the mold.
Gayness Rating: 7.5