Archive for April, 2010

Justin Bieber- Gayness Rating

April 19th, 2010

Here at LGO, we like to take hypothetical looks into celebrities live’s, make accusations, assumptions, and generally make the average die-hard fan cry. Because it’s really, really fun to do.

If you aren’t caught up to date, here’s a quick recap on our last two “Gayness Rating” subjects:

Ryan Seacrest – It’s not even that he’s actually gay. It’s the stupid smile, the way he talks, his suits, his unimaginable and unexplainable fame and fortune, his haircut, his highlights, his laugh, his job, and quite possibly even the way he walks…but he just feels gay to us.

Jared Leto – Maybe it’s his lyrics, or the dark eyeshadow, or the bright eyeshadow, or the tight leather, or the tight non-leather, or the girl hair, or the bright pink or red girl hair. Perhaps it’s the rock star thing, or the movie star thing, or the weird gay lean/pose for pictures thing, or the finger-nail painting thing. I mean, I actually don’t think he has sex with men, but seriously aside from taking it in the butt or giving it, what does Jared Leto not do that makes him look gay The answer is nothing.

Drumroll….and here is the man, boy-child, teeny-bopper, punk/rich/lucky bastard kid/man of the hour….

Justin Bieber

Justin Bieber

Usher with girlfriend Justin Bieber.

He’s back by Usher, so we know he can’t possible actually be gay. And he’s like 16, so even if he does end up being gay, it’s probably way too early for even him to know for sure.

But there’s something about that retarded hair-cut, that wimpy voice, his over-exaggerated hitting-on older women, and his ridiculous presumptive confidence…that makes him undeniably gay.

It could be our natural jealousy over the fact that the kid has already made more money on one CD than we’ll make in our entire lives, but then again, he does fit the mold.

Gayness Rating: 7.5

Worst Looking Woman?

April 19th, 2010

In light of starlet Megan Fox getting bitch-slapped by Christina Hendricks winning this year’s “Best Looking Woman” by Esquire, LGO thought it would only be proper to take a good, flacid look at some ugly women, and pick a champ for 2010.

These bitches could go toe-to-toe with Rocky, folks. And if they survived, they might actually be better looking. Call it harsh. Call it lazy. Call it fucking right on.

Here’s the top five gal’s to make our list, with the “top” one finishing dead last for LGO’s “Worst Looking Woman” award: » Read more: Worst Looking Woman?

Why is Ryan Seacrest Cool?

April 14th, 2010

Mr. Ryan Seacrest | Worthless, But Still Makes Money

It’s official, everyone is taller than Ryan Seacrest.

Let’s start out by saying that I’m not exactly familiar with who Ryan Seacrest really is.  I know I’ve seen him in the past on TV

Ryan and I are not friends, I don’t know his friends, and to get to the point I don’t see how anyone would.

Other than the mindless programs that he’s hosted that have somehow captured the hearts and minds of America,. How is this guy popular,. why did he make it?

Why is this guy worthy of well paying mainstream positions that he’s nailed down?  If his charisma was a color it would be institutional beige, just like his commercialized soul.

I really don’t want to use that three letter word that describes guys who really like other guys,. and Ryan Seacrest all at the same time. » Read more: Why is Ryan Seacrest Cool?

50 Famous “Would be” One Liners of Sara Palin

April 14th, 2010

Sara Palin is coming back into the main stream ridding the wave of her new FOX program.  I don’t watch FOX so I don’t know the name of it, but who cares.  Less importantly, The former Republican vice presidential nominee attempted to pose as  a standup comic on Jay Leno’s “Tonight Show”, dropping one-liners about the White House, Congress and Fey – the “Saturday Night Live” star known for her impression of the former Alaska governor.

Palin told Leno’s audience she planned to speak at a gun-rights convention: “Be there or else,” she lamely warned them.

She said Alaska is different from California.  In Los Angeles, “when people have a frozen look on their face, I find out it’s Botox.”

Here are some other other one liners that are funnier than her comedy efforts: » Read more: 50 Famous “Would be” One Liners of Sara Palin

Easter is Over – What to do with the left over eggs?

April 5th, 2010

So Easter is over,. and you have way too many fricken eggs left over,. Here are some ideas: